At the time I was working in quite a high pressure job. I had spent my working career climbing the "creative/corporate" ladder to become an "Fashion Account Manager" designing and selling Accessories for a design company (which supplied large retail chains such as Target, Big W and Kmart). I managed a two million dollar account, was able to travel overseas once or twice a year for work and earned a very comfortable wage. The down side was the stress... and considering we were trying very hard for a baby (which didn't seem to be happening) I started to consider whether my job might not have been helping the situation.
I also felt like I wasn't "following my heart" (Ive never been big on "wishy washy" speak like this) but I had to admit that pregnancy, to a degree, was out of my control and I needed to look at all aspects of my life for possible influences both physically and mentally.
So one insomniactic night in May 2013 in a desperate attempt for answers, direction and meaning... I googled the movie "The Secret" and watched it at 3am (I know cringe, slightly embarrassed to be admitting that). Then I sat on my lounge room floor and meditated (at now past 4am). What I wanted was a baby, it needed to become my priority, I decided then and there to quit my job that very day.
Like a robot on mission (a slightly unhinged emotional robot) I went to work, typed my resignation letter and made a meeting with my boss. I explained my reasons with complete honesty, I cried, she cried and I gave a lengthy 3 month notice.
With that weight off my shoulders & mind I started to think about my next adventure.
6 weeks later I flew to sydney for the day with a colleague to hand over a large account with Big W. The day started super early, multiple coffee's followed, plane trip, car trip, meetings, car trip, plane trip (happy hour, a few complimentary bevvies were consumed) finally making it home around 11pm. I was thinking about pouring myself another glass of wine... but instead something prompted me to do a pregnancy test... my period was 4 days late (which was not unusual for me at all, regular cycles had never been my thing). I knew that testing was "optimal" in the morning... but I was sick of waiting! (plus, I was sure it wasn't going to show anything). But, Very slowly, a very dull second line appeared in the window... my heart started to pump a little faster, adrenaline raced thru my veins, I felt a little sick... okay maybe it wast time for another glass of wine.
I called Andee into the bathroom and waved the test in front of him, he looked at me in disbelief, was I joking? an apprehensive smile crossed his face, a sense of relief that all our efforts were not in vain. A hug, a kiss, with slightly teary eyes we jumped up and down. Andee's sensible rational thoughts kicked in,,, he didn't want me to get my hopes up, just in case.
(very slowly the 2 lines got darker over the next 2 days, I tucked these precious tests into the front of our wedding photo)
(I had to do 5, to be sure, to be sure...)
(below; picture wall in our bedroom, wedding photo with pregnancy tests still hangs on the wall)
One waiting game was over, and another began. The wait for the doctors to confirm a positive result, the wait for the "all clear" at the 3 month scan and of course the 9 month wait for the big "Arrival Day!!" FRANKLY, I COULDN'T WAIT!