Monday, August 4, 2014

8.55AM and I am eating a big creamy bowl of carbonara!

Let me paint the scene, It is 8.55am on a wintery monday morning and although the winters sun is beaming down thawing thru the ice outside, I have the curtains drawn. I am sitting in bed, with the doona pulled up, eating a huge bowl of reheated carbonara pasta left over from last nights dinner. Yep, creamy, bacony, pastary goodness at 8.55AM ON A MONDAY MORNING!

When you are awake at 3am breast feeding and then UP from 5.30am feeding, playing, singing, nappy changing, feeding, rocking... then 8.55am doesn't seem quite so unreasonable to eat very creamy, carby, carbonara... does it??

My house is a disaster zone. My baby cannot even crawl yet and somehow there are toys, books and food strewn from one end of the house to the other.

Only two weeks ago I thought I was super mum. I went to the gym three times in one week (yes my gym has a creche, LIFE SAVER!). Just those few hours of time out for myself with some physical and mental space to breathe I started to feel semi normal.

Then the very next week everything fell apart as my little boy was sick for the first time (ironically possibly picked up from the "life saver" gym creche). My sweet little poo bag even so kindly decided to share his sickness with my husband and myself. Don't get me wrong, I am so very proud he is sharing (even at such a young age, what a good boy...) but I could have done without that cold.

Just for the record, SICK BABIES SUCK!
YEP, Dealing with a sick baby is CRAPEDDY, CRAPSTICKS!
It was one lonnnnnnng week of baby Panadol, vaporisers, long nights, screaming, red cheecks, snotty noses and a lot of rocking back in forth hugging for hours on end, consoling a very confused little person.

So after 1 SUPER DUPER WEEK, followed by 1 SUPER SHIT WEEK, I am starting off this one with 1 SUPER LARGE BOWL OF CREAMY PASTA.....week?! I think that means I have given in. Not given up. Just given in, to roll with the punches this week. So instead of being super organised like I usually try to be, I might just try to be. Messy house, afternoon sleeps, daytime tv, perhaps a lay on the deck rugged up in blankets in the winters sun.

My usual way of coping with the world is most definitely NOT just letting things be. I am a woman of many LISTS, PROJECTS, DREAMS, ASPIRATIONS, GOALS... MORE PROJECTS. So for me "letting things be" is quite challenging (scary, a little "out of control"). Its like being drunk without the wine (and the cover of nightfall). So here I am throwing caution to the wind and lists out the window, I am leaving the piles of washing, toys, dishes where they are... on the floor, in an attempt to "let go" (even if its just for a week).  CLEANINGS FOR LOSERS! (HMMM OR FOR PEOPLE WITH CLEAN HOUSES.....HMMMMMM).